a wrestle, life is
There’s this phrase…”The Now and The Not Yet” which really baffles me. But it doesn’t just leave me baffled, it leaves me wondering too. Wondering about what to do with my baffled state and how to get from wonder to action (if that makes sense).
On the surface, the phrase is referring to the present and the future. And just thinking about the future scares me. I feel like I’m in this constant wrestle between where I am currently and where I want to be. Despite me knowing, wholeheartedly, that where I am now is instrumental to the place where I will eventually be, I still get impatient.
The problem is I have so many dreams. Not just "one day” rainbows and butterflies dreams but like dreams that sometimes haunt me, dreams that sometimes I feel like are looking down upon me, examining what I am doing every second of every day to eventually catch up to the bigness of that dream. They say that pressure is what is needed to make diamonds, yes—that is true. But too much pressure and what if the diamond shatters? What if the diamond breaks into a million pieces and cannot get back together again?
Okay, now, that’s how to negatively look at it. The way my brain works sometimes is that it calls out the negative thoughts only to counter it with a positive. Yes, maybe pressure sucks sometimes, but the good thing to remember is that:
“God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Oh yeah, God is good. Sometimes I forget that He has me in his hands. Sometimes I forget that everything I go through is “Father-filtered”. That means he’s my safety net and there will always be a way out of the difficultly of life. So I get pressured, right? To pursue the highest heights (and sometimes in record time). But here I am again, letting go of the “what ifs” that cloud that “what to do nexts”…
My dreams are big, but my God is bigger. I want to enjoy the climb up the mountain, and the descent to the valleys, as well as crossing the finish line. In fact, the finish line isn’t as satisfying without the journey that brought one there.
[how i will apply this to my life rn]
Thank God for the big dreams He has placed on my heart
Do the next best thing to get there. (that’s editing this last video)
